The light within...

Dear Followers...

I have had 99.9% positive feedback on this blog. How ever...to avoid missunderstandings, let me demythifize some facts about myself. First of all....why do I suddenly use so much energy on backgammon again, after being distant for so many years.... The answer is...me and ms. backgammon had an intense love affair many years ago, It started with a one night stand...and then we could not get enought of eachother for 10 years! But then i cheated on my mistress with the only thing I ever loved more...my former wife Ebru Tuzel. So Ms. Backgammon stopped calling me...we grew appart....for a while.

To the ones of you who thinks this is a blogg to blow up one mans ego...you are alowed to thinks so. The meaning of this blog is...how ever something else. I don't need any further respect. I got all the respect i needed on the battlefield trhoug 13 years of playing, My goal of this blog is not to show how good I am...because it is not about that! It is about my JOURNEY back! I've been away for a long time, and i am not even close to my level of play  when i retired. The meaning of this blog is to sneak-implemant the Tromsø model on all of you! And the Tromsø model is not about ego and knowing the right move or decicion at any time. The Tromsø Model is about doing MISTAKES...and how to cope with them. Because...as i tought Jon Krsitain and my other students a long time ago, it is not about knowing the right move...or cube. It is about knowing the HISTORY  behind the right move or cube, or any other decicion in your life. Then you understand...or are capable of finding out.

People in Norway tend to like making different list where they give people different ranks and stuff. And this is no attack against Mr.Frogner. When i look at Mr, Frogner I look at a neccecity in Norwegian backgammon...I look at comittment...and i respect that! What i mean is... To deserve a status...you need to deliver...to show yourself. Otherwise you are only a name sourrennded by other letters....on a piece of paper. You are practically speaking...fiction!

I can give you all a list. But it's going to be a short one, because there are very few world class players in Norway. Until 2008 when i quit, there was only two. My own student Mr.Røyset and the Grand old man himself Dag Ekmark. The last couple of years Mr. Frediksen also qualifies. Sure there were others sitting at home playing very strong backgammon. I was one of them...but we did not face the preassure. We were not at the battlefield...which by the way do not containt an automatic pip count and diffrent race formulas. We were at home in front of a pc while our girlfriends told us how great we were, bringing hot chocolate. We were nothing...

(Picture of the Menace at Area51, 1945)
So....that is why i do this blog. I put maximum preassure on myself, and on the opponents that wants to face me. Because now the world is watching. Both me and my opponents have to put our souls for display.  Their good moves and more importantly  their bad  and horrendous moves Nothing gets hidden!. It is a simulation of the battlefield.In my mind....This is correct mental training. Belive me...if I did not have a bet going with sondre and Tommy, my decicions in each game would probally have been much easier, and probably many of them would have been done differently....because no one was watching.My actions
would have absoulutely no qonsequense...good or bad. But now...it's different. It's tougher, it's real!

For my own sake...i know exactly what my level was in 2008, and i know exactly what it takes to get there. A lot of work! The last month i've been playing like 30 matches everyday, I do not expect the 1's and 2's to appear often during volume training. I  expect them to come many months ahead, when all the mistakes has matured in my bloodstream. Thats what Bjørn Dahli did, what Fedrer does every day! It's called training! Will I get back to old hights? Probably...because this blog ressurects me...but it does so by sharing....by suffering....and by learning from doing.... I am not afraid. And if fear still gets to you, just listen to this tune I made for Katja in 2004, lol: http://home.online.no/~g-nordan/media/Firestarter.mp3. You can actually hear Katja in the background....laughing. So don't give up!

It's all about... the light within.


Jedi