Alright...when i decided to make this project of keeping my comeback public...i knew this day would come. Only not that it would hit me this hard!. You have good days, bad days...and sometimes....Black Wholes in space dragging you in. T.I.L.T
And since this is a thematical approach towards Backgammon, lets talk about TILT. What is it?. Is it an actutal condition, is it only an excuse for being outplayed, or is it something else. A little bit of both you ask me...
As you all know, i am facing Tommy in a 50 match 5 point challenge. I never had any deep experience with 5 pointers. We never used the format in Tromsø, online we played 99% cashgames, so it's kind of the forgotten format. But it is a tricky one...and i did not realise how sharp and focused I wuld have to be before challenging one of the few guys in the world who has this score format fully figured out. Chewbackas brother...Nesbakka, who has been playing this format every day on play65 the last 5 years.
The 5 point format is not like the 9, 11 or 13 point formats. These formats you mainly play out as cashgames, until your either are too far ahead or to far back....or you end up on critical matchscores. Small or even big mistakes gets forgiven by XG and smoothend out, because you have som much time to do right stuff. The 5 point format how ever, is not so forgiving. Lots of KO matches. You do an early mistake and the match gets relatively short....stattwise your screwed. And I mean Screwed!.
Now i already knew what Tommy was playing on stattwise before i started playing him. I ecpected him to play in the 2.50 - 4 range most of the time. He did, only a bit stronger than I predicted. After starting ok in the 9 point challenge, boosting my level further in the 13 point format in the masternorm, where i hit the '3+ in average, I Expected myself to be not so far behind Nesbakka. My shape was picking up!
So this Friday me and Nesbakka had a 12 match session. We played fast, and after a while we also had lots of viewers. Already after match 2... I was tilting. And let me explaint this weird condition, Tilt. When you start to doubt your own decicions...you should start taking you time, no matter what people say. When you start to fear your own decicions...then you should tell your oppnonent that you rather wish to play another day. Because Ladies!, when you fear your own decisions...you are on Tilt. Of course we played on, faster and faster. Now Tommy said he was on tilt too, because he was loosing all the time....But when he is on tilt, he drops from a 2+ to a 3 or 4, while me on the other hand in my current shape...just totally fell of the horse!
And the somehow absurded thing with the situation was not that i tilted because i lost. I did not. I am a Jedi, i am trained to win, so i held a 70% win rate total so far. Actually a bit more than i had predicted. My predicaments before the challenge where more in the 55% window. Not because i ecpected to be better stattwise than Nesbakka at this point, but simply because i know i play big moments better than most others. The life and death thing, you know...survival! The reason i tilted was the numbers coming in from Dr.XG while we played. I was not even close of tying the statt!! I kept playing on 4''s 5's and lot worse....and even if it should be relatively simple to find out the leak in my game, I couldn not figure it out while playing...so i just kept on playing fast, feeling more and more uncomfortable with myself!
So in this session i was destroyed stattwise. Not so much by Nesbakkas good play, because i alreday knew where he was, but by my own total CRACKDOWN.
We have so far played 23 matches, and i've won 14, but i am still behind due to the fact that i almost never wins the double (statt and vicotry) I am in the weird situation that in fact I can win the next 25 matches and still loose the challenge by quite a margin.
But there is still some air left. We are almost half through the contest and Nesbakka is up with 5 points. Jedi is now reading matchscore articles, prepearing for the next Nesbakka session! Now i have to pulish my own crackdown to the world, which is by no means easy...as most players never talk about these days!
But....I am a worrier. I can deal with it!
I will soon also come with a sum up of the 9 point challenge against Sonrik!
Jedi will be back!
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